CRUISE – Sea Day & Formal Night

6 May

It’s another sea day, and coincidentally another gala night. We already shot restaurant photos yesterday, and the passengers didn’t like us back then. But I guess there is no harm in trying again. So we go out once more, making our rounds through the tables in the two big restaurants, begging the passengers to pose for pictures. We even have the full set of seven studios out on the ship, so as to make use of every photo opportunity.

The choice is odd, considering that we will arrive in Hamburg tomorrow. Almost all paying passengers will disembark tomorrow morning, which means they won’t return to the gallery to check for their pictures from tonight. I’ve been observing this nonsense of a work schedule for nearly two weeks now, and I can’t help but think that any fourth-grader could come up with a better plan to distribute our precious human resources than our current photo manager. Luckily I am on photoshop duty, so instead of boring myself alone in one of the studios I entertain the odd visitors of the gallery.

Cruise Photography with portable lights

Apparently there is always someone taking photos aboard the ABC RypMeOff. Even if nobody wants their photos taken anyway.

A few years ago Germany had a game show called “What am I?” A panel of prominence had to guess the occupation of a guest, using only Yes/No questions. The guest had to make a “typical hand movement”, so as to give the panel some hint what job they were looking for. They’d be helpless with my performance. My typical movement would be one of flipping through endless folders of photos, looking for a picture that matches the face of a particular guest. I have two university degrees, play a dozen musical instruments, have published research papers and book chapters. And today I stand in a windowless photo gallery, flipping through endless piles of cruise pictures, predominantly assisting passengers who only want to check their faces on celluloid, but have no intention of buying anything.

And just like the people on the panel of “What Am I” I do not have a clue of where this is all going. But unlike them I am not allowed to sit down during my six-hour shift, I won’t have time to watch TV after I’m done, and there surely won’t be anyone who finds entertainment or educational value in my labour. At least I get paid.

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