Cruise Bonus Payments

22 Jun

It’s the very last day of this Norway cruise, and we are still some €17,000 short of our €61,000 goal. Thus, our declared goal for the last sea day was to sell photos like crazy, make every guest personalised offers, talk them into purchasing overprized aluminium prints (starting at €150!), and reeling in those missing 23% of the cruise target. We fell some €2000 short, which is a real downer, but nevertheless a great opportunity to introduce you to the bonus system of ABC Cruises.

A bar aboard the ABC RypMeOff

Look at all those wallets! As a part of cruise business it’s your job to go after their money like a dog after the saussage.

Every department aboard that sells anything, be it perfume, watches, photos, wine, or tooth brushes, has a target number for every cruise. If, at the end of the cruise, the department meets the sales target, they receive a bonus payment. Depending on the margin by which we surpass the original goal our department receives 2% to 10% of the original target value, which is distributed evenly among all team members. With a target like the present this would mean a bonus of €76 to €380 per person for this two-week cruise. Naturally, you strife to reach that goal.

It actually does not matter how you reach the target value; you just have to show that your total revenue stream for the entire cruise exceeds the number provided. So, if management would allow it, we could sell photos for half the prize, offer digital sale-out packages, and meet the requirements for the bonus payment while making our costumers very happy. However, such business ideas are frowned upon, and since the bonus would hardly make a difference for the manager anyway, he has no convincing reason to entice a conflict with his superiors over the pricing of our products.

Cruise ships in Geiranger, Norway

Geiranger/Hellesylt is a marvelous place. But if you look really closely, you may still spot a variety of commerce.

Anyway, we did not make the target, and neither did any of the other departments. In fact, nobody on this ship has received a bonus payment since we entered the North Sea, because the target values we would have to reach are laughably high. I have already seen the target for the next cruise, and it is €4000 higher than the last one, even though we will have the exact same number of sea and port days, along the exact same coast. I wouldn’t put it past ABC management if they saw how close we got to the target for the current cruise, and immediately re-evaluated their expectations for the upcoming weeks. Would be a shame to lose all that money on mere underlings, wouldn’t it?

Considering that my payment is merely one quarter of what I was previously promised, I cannot conceive any reason for me to keep this job long-term. ABC Cruises seems to be cheating me wherever that possibility opens itself. Yes, I knew that cruises are a tough business. I just didn’t consider that individual people played such a small part in it. Neither the employees nor the paying guests appear to be of prolonged interest to the managers of this company. So, why would I bother?

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